irrational

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growlegacy

Since I can remember, singing in front of people has made me absolutely, positively nervous. Since I can remember, I’ve loved singing and wanted to be spectacular at it. I do, in fact, sing, but I can’t say I’m spectacular at it. I do okay. While I would love to make this about singing, that’s not what I’m really focused on. 

A few weeks ago, I woke up early in the morning because I knew I was going to have to sing by myself in front of an audience of people. My heart was beating out of my chest. I was beginning to panic. And this still small voice spoke to my heart. For the first time in my life I was acutely aware of how irrational my fear was. You see, fear doesn’t come from our Maker, Christ. AND is really meant to alert our bodies of danger so that we will respond or react to it. 

When that little insight came to my heart, I immediately thought of how unthreatened I was. Since then, I’ve been able to stop in the midst of feelings of nervousness, anger or fear and ask myself, “What makes you feel this way?” “Is this a logical response?”. This beautiful revelation has afforded me the space to understand myself more deeply, and adjust my disposition with more wisdom. The bible tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7 that “…God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” It also tells us in 1John 4:17-18 that “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment.” How could I feel terror when doing something I love? Honestly, when we act out of fear, rational behavior is often the least likely response. The irrational behavior born out of irrational emotions is pursuing the demise of our well-being.

If that internal voice, that reacts and responds, would be more thoroughly evaluated, there would be more people taking risks, sustaining healthy relationships, and growing personally with more frequency.

After experiencing this “Aha moment”, I would encourage anyone to ask themselves some of the same questions I did:

  1. Why am I angry/sad/frustrated/scared about or of that?
  2. How can I effectively respond to this feeling I’m having?