Culture shapes us. It shapes us all, and can often determine how we conduct ourselves. Of course, we are not bound by it, but it does affect us. When I was growing up in the 90s, frank conversations were part of the culture. It seems people didn’t shy away from tough talks, and we spoke our mind.
Now that my girls are teenagers, my husband and I have spent time watching old 90s shows with them. What a reminder of how culture can change! Expression was seemingly more open back then. People seemed less offended, and straight communication was welcome. It seems so much more difficult to share ideas and opinions in today’s day and age, making difficult dialogue so much more complex.
Matthew 24:10-12 – And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. 12 And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.
I’m going to venture to say that difficult dialogue seems more complicated, but is actually a figment of our imagination and a result of talk dubbed as taboo, cancel culture. So what if we did express the truth, easy or not, painful or not? What if we did show love through honesty? Would we be willing to tell someone when we disagreed with him or her?
Proverbs 24:26 – An honest answer is like a kiss of friendship.
I say that we bear that responsibility and live in a more healthy society: then when we can speak freely, listen to one another and welcome dialogue that may be uncomfortable, but that’s okay. Comfort is the murderer of progress, anyway.
We don’t have to pretend to like someone, but we can be manerable. We don’t have to agree with someone, but we don’t have to insult them. Let’s tell someone when we don’t like his or her idea. Let’s communicate when someone has made us uncomfortable. Let’s say we’re not available when we’re not available, instead of overpromising and underdelivering, or worse – lying. Let’s respond to texts instead of ghosting others. Let’s have difficult dialogue with difficult-to-talk-to people. Let’s overcome the fear of rejection through “taboo” talk and cancel culture. We have a responsibility to each other and the future to be sincere, honest, and transparent in the life we are living.
Here’s what I’ve learned: New practices require practice. You can get better at difficult dialogue by practicing the “hard to say” things. Begin by practicing out loud or with a friend. We have a responsibility.
Let’s keep it real.
Sincerely,
New Alias – Transparent Tania
Questions for Reflection:
- What are you most afraid of when you hesitate to have difficult dialogue?
- How can you begin exercising difficult dialogue?